The Bloom Is Off The Rose
I have several projects going, right now, some with more of a deadline pressure than others. I flit.
One project is literally over a year late. A birthday present. It is very close to finished. But it sits. I have two other very compelling fun things I want to work on, but can't seem to...as I started yet another project yesterday, or the day before, recently, and work on it as if it were the deadline project.
From one project to the other, I work on this one and then that, as the mood strikes, not, sadly in this case, as the deadline nears. What makes a project "work worthy"? Why work on this one now, incessantly, and then not touch it for weeks??
It occurred to me today: the bloom, in each case, is off the rose. Each project has gotten to a point where the fatal flaw, which will keep it from ever being perfect, from ever living up to my imagination, has been reached. A mistake. Perhaps I have chosen the wrong materials, the materials that won't do what I want. Or my skills are not there yet... I am struggling to make this into even a shadow of the mental picture I had when I began. Sometimes I can fix it. Yet sometimes the mistake will be as permanent as the material object.
This is the essential struggle of EVERY craftsperson, in every medium. I made a mistake. The project is no longer as much fun to work on, the anticipation of the perfect beauty is lost.
I force myself to press on. Finish. Learn something, if only that I have the stamina to finish. Likely other people don't see the flaw as I do, or if they do, it is not as significant to them as it is to me. So, what? This particular Magnum Opus is not quite so Magnum? Plan another project that WILL work out.
The planning is always so much fun!
One project is literally over a year late. A birthday present. It is very close to finished. But it sits. I have two other very compelling fun things I want to work on, but can't seem to...as I started yet another project yesterday, or the day before, recently, and work on it as if it were the deadline project.
From one project to the other, I work on this one and then that, as the mood strikes, not, sadly in this case, as the deadline nears. What makes a project "work worthy"? Why work on this one now, incessantly, and then not touch it for weeks??
It occurred to me today: the bloom, in each case, is off the rose. Each project has gotten to a point where the fatal flaw, which will keep it from ever being perfect, from ever living up to my imagination, has been reached. A mistake. Perhaps I have chosen the wrong materials, the materials that won't do what I want. Or my skills are not there yet... I am struggling to make this into even a shadow of the mental picture I had when I began. Sometimes I can fix it. Yet sometimes the mistake will be as permanent as the material object.
This is the essential struggle of EVERY craftsperson, in every medium. I made a mistake. The project is no longer as much fun to work on, the anticipation of the perfect beauty is lost.
I force myself to press on. Finish. Learn something, if only that I have the stamina to finish. Likely other people don't see the flaw as I do, or if they do, it is not as significant to them as it is to me. So, what? This particular Magnum Opus is not quite so Magnum? Plan another project that WILL work out.
The planning is always so much fun!
posted by Sara at 1:39 PM
4 Comments:
Planning is better than completion, alas, but then there's the absolute joy of the occasional finished project that actually works. Maybe once every three or four years.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without."
— Confucius
'Nuf said, diamond girl.
I thought I was the only one who felt this way!! A good cup of tea helps :>)
Ah...the lure of the "sit and spin" planning, trial, modification phase. Sometimes it's so much more enticing than the continuous work and finishing, where one must say "Goodbye." I think I can understand how you feel - I work on something that seemed so perfect at it's onset, then am tired of it, find fault with it, and don't feel it's worthy to gift even if others assure me it is.
It's okay to enjoy the process as much, maybe more, than the product.
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